THE SMALL STUFF POST

Don’t Sweat It!

In today’s news it has been reported that a pair of travelling companions hailing from the great land of Tennessee were relieved of several of their possessions by the recently declared “Thoughtful Thieves”.  The victims, Landon Turner, 23, and Sam Crockett, 20, both from Johnson City, Tennessee were travelling around the south island and had arrived in Christchurch to board a flight the following afternoon to Auckland.  The pair left their belongings with someone who can only be identified as “Carl”, pictured below, as they explored the city.  At some point in the victims’ absence, Carl had his rear violated and the “Thoughtful Thieves” gained access to the pair’s luggage and other items of value.  Several suitcases were stolen including one belonging to a Massey University student.  The student, identified as Sean Collins, 19, also from Johnson City, TN, was attempting to avoid ridiculous international shipping fees when he sent the suitcase, comprised of nearly 75% of Mr. Collins’ clothing, with his mates who were on their way back to Tennessee.  Mr. Turner had refused to take the case initially and it looks as if he has gotten his wish.  Other items taken include a camera belonging to Mr. Turner and various amounts of clothing belonging to both Mr. Crockett and Mr. Turner.  The thieves even swiped a couple kiwifruit from the pair in an act of most daring cruelty.  The “Thoughtful Thieves” did choose to leave behind passports and wallets belonging to the pair, and various other electrical appliances.  The word “stolen” has been repressed from this article on Mr. Crockett’s request reasoning that the thieves were “simply relieving” them of items which would hamper their now trouble less “return to the US of A”.  Mr. Turner was quoted as saying, “I told him I wasn’t takin that d**n bag.”  The pair also say that they are not pressing charges against Carl in the incident, and in spite of the setback both have enjoyed their stay in Aotearoa and should have no troubles on their return to Tennessee.

In other news it has been reported that the same Massey University student victimized by the daring robbery has “crushed” his first exam.  Good on ya’ mate!